I probably won’t sleep tonight. So much anxiety. I saw the picture of Joey in her hospital gown, holding her baby. Cancer is awful. It’s vicious. What it does to a body is…I don’t have the words. Seeing pictures of Joey, how thin and frail she is, I was taken back to my time with Vanessa. she looks so much like her in this condition. She has the same form of cancer; cervical cancer. The protruding clavicle, the neck so thin the bones almost stand out, arms as thin as a child’s. I remember.
Vanessa eventually accepted what was happening to her body. She refused chemo. She saw what it did to Rita, and the pain she saw Rita experience was just unbearable. She asked me just not let her suffer. I was sure to administer her meds on time. I didn’t want her to suffer. I think she feared the pain more than she feared death.
Joey is young, talented and beautiful. It breaks my heart that this monster of a disease has her in its death grip, and there’s nothing that can be done. All the more heartbreaking that she has to say goodbye to a baby. My heart breaks for that family. I know what they’re going through.